Holiday Indulgence

    Christmas is such a fun time of year. My humans are really generous and I often get extra snacks, extra goodies, and new gifts. Also, Christmas is a time when food abounds. As you know, when food is being prepped, there are plenty of opportunities for a smart pup to sneak a few extra treats in.
    Here's my personal favorite strategy:
1) Location is key! Begin by placing yourself in the kitchen near enough to the humans preparing the food, but far enough away that they don't think you're up to something. I think the floor under the table is ideal for my kitchen space, that or the couch next to the counter. The couch is trickier because you need to really lie low and be unnoticed.

2) Distinguish smells. I know - every dog smells everything and everything smells good! But the trick is, wait for the things that you know will drop to the floor or things your human is more likely to share with you when you give "the eyes" (see step 3). When you smell veggies, stand up, your human is about to chop and chopping means spilling and spilling means treats. When you smell raw meat, wait. The smell will drive you crazy, but humans don't often share this meat and it seldom accidentally falls to the floor. Cheese? Come running and make "the eyes"

3) "The eyes". They don't call 'em puppy dog eyes for nothing, folks. Use what you have and what you have is adorable. I personally like to combine "the eyes" with "good girl". Here's an example. Brenda opened up a nice bag of cheddar and she's about to shred it. I run to her feet and sit up straight like a good girl. I don't beg or make a sound, but I look at her with "the eyes" and I wait. I know she can only resist for a minute at least and soon a piece of cheese is waiting for me - no stealing necessary.

4) When desperate, jump on the counter, steal and run. You may not get to savor your food, you may be punished and have what you don't swallow pried from your mouth, but sometimes this is worth it, especially when steps 1-3 don't work.


   And finally some tips for what not to eat this season. Many people and pups suffer for their excessive indulgences and boy have I. The top things I wish I hadn't eaten: wrapping paper (only because of the punishment), a post-office box that contained gifts (I left the gifts alone - what was Brenda's problem?), and most of all a glass ornament. That last one was a doosey. I was not only in trouble, but the glass didn't feel great going in or out.
   Merry Christmas, readers. May your stocking be filled with squeaky toys and smelly treats and may your new year include lots of happy chewing.

Fall Favorites

          Fall is my favorite time of year. Although this is only the second Fall I've ever experienced, the tasty treats seem to abound like a plentiful harvest. In this blog I have some recommendations that also come with some warnings. Although Autumn is typically connected with a sense of eating in excess, please eat responsibly.
         This fall my masters decorated the inside of the house with food! They placed gourds all over the house and some were within snacking distance from me. I thought it was very nice of them to consider leaving me with some of their most beautiful gourds an easy distance from the couch -yes, I did have to climb on the couch, then on the counter and around the cake plate to get to it, but with such beautiful curved stems, I was able to reach them with very little effort. I know Brenda was especially happy about the stems of these pumpkins - they were long and spiraled and looked like a fairytale. I happily enjoyed snacking on said fairytale stems, but the piece de resistance was definitely the knobby green one. I ate that from top to bottom, nearly all the way through. When Brenda and Nathan got home they seemed distressed about this and took the small remains away from me. I suppose they wanted to share it together and I hadn't waited, but who could resist such strange delicacies?
           Later, on our walk, I started to feel the effects of my gluttony and, without going into detail, let me tell you it was three bags of unpleasant. So here is my advice: enjoy Fall favorites, but remember moderation.
           Another warning: don't eat treats that come in small, cylindrical bottles or your masters will flip out. You see, Brenda was not feeling well; coughing daily and having trouble breathing. It was tough to see her like that and know that all I could do was sit by her side and make sure she was comfortable. Sometimes I felt like I needed to sit on her just to keep her warm - I'm still her puppy despite my 60 pounds. The good thing was she was home so I was able to protect her and make sure she was ok. I noticed that she frequently was taking treats from a small bottle. They smelled delicious, but she kept telling me "leave it" like she does when she has something I want and selfishly doesn't feel like sharing.
         I decided one morning that I needed to know what she was eating, if only for her safety, so I grabbed the bottle with my teeth and started my way inside. It didn't take long for the plastic to shatter and I only meant to try one, but suddenly all the treats were in my mouth. I liked them, they were smelly and went down so easily. I tried chewing on the bottle to see if I could get any more flavor out when Brenda found me. Boy was she mad (sometimes her selfish greed shocks me)! She called to Nathan and he dragged me outside and started pouring some horrible liquid in me that eventually caused me to divulge everything I had just consumed. That was unpleasant. As they were cleaning up after me, I noticed that Brenda had made me some fried eggs and placed them on my counter. Sometimes she can be thoughtful. The seasoning was a perfect remedy for my stomach and I immediately felt well enough to run around the house. Yet I was reminded again that gluttony has its own punishment and I will try to remember that until the next time I forget.

      Happy Fall, dear friends. Be careful to consume in moderation and happy chewing.

My First Blog

      Hello, World! My name is Scout. I am an eighteen month old Golden Retriever/aspiring food blogger. I know the world is full of food bloggers, but I feel that as a dog I can add a new perspective as of yet unheard. My plan is to blog once a week about tastes and bites I had that week. I welcome your feedback on what new foods you've tried and enjoyed as well. My masters keep me on a pretty restricted diet of dog food, but I am able to be creative and adventurous and I've tried many tasty things when they're not looking (and sometimes when they are).
    So far this week, my tastes have been fairly normal. Here is my list of things I've tried:

• Dog food with mozzarella cheese
• Trader Joe's salt and pepper potato chips
• sour cream
• apple slices (several given, one stolen)
• Pumpkin dog treat with sprinkles

• The playstation remote
• Harvest pillows
• Socks
• 3 blankets
• pencil

    I separated the list into commonly accepted foods and less traditional varieties. As far as commonly accepted foods go, I would highly recommend the addition of mozzarella to any dry dog food. The smell of cheese drives me wild yet I feel the mozzarella adds a particularly sophisticated taste to the otherwise dreary dog food. 

      Sometimes items that are typically "human" foods are harder to come by and must be sampled on the sly. I was able to get in two good licks of my masters' sour cream before either of them noticed and even though it meant punishment, the rewards of a sweet smelling yet deliciously tangy cream far outweighed it.

   Now to the less traditional. Do you ever just need a midnight snack? Your masters seem to need rest once it gets dark, but let's face it, you've been sleeping all day, night is our time to party - am I right? So this week, my masters were sleeping and I just couldn't seem to rest. So I did what anyone does when they can't sleep - I turned on the tv and decided to watch some Netflix. But once I had that remote in my mouth I just couldn't let that flavor go. The texture is the first thing you notice, hard plastic mixed with soft buttons make this remote perfect for gnawing. It has just the right give to make you feel like you're making progress contrasted with a toughness that's truly satisfying. Sadly, Nathan got up once he heard the TV turn on and I didn't actually get to destroy this one, but I've got my eye on it.

  

    Brenda seems to have a thing for soft fabric and who can blame her? But she just doesn't want to share! In the harvest season she has put out two new pillows for me. They smell so different from the other pillows we have, which makes them hard to resist. They not only are soft and full of a squishy center that I can't wait to sink my teeth into, but they also have beading and stitching beggin to be torn apart. It's food that is both fun and satisfying. But I've only been able to get a small taste of each. You can keep your pumpkin spice latte, my dream is a harvest pillow or two between my teeth - that's the true taste of fall.

      Thank you for reading my perspective on what's good food. I hope you were enlightened on dog fare and I look forward to sharing more with you as time goes on. Until then - happy chewing.